Tuesday, July 27, 2010

How the week ended for me last week

Thanks to you all who reached out an reassured me that we all have those kind of weeks.  I always want to be real when I blog.  I want to show how my life really is, not just the good stuff.  I want to be HONEST.

I lost my wallet Friday night and spent an hour watching the poor kid at the Regal Cinema sift through bags and bags of trash 'til he finally found it and I broke out in tears. Seriously, Dai, tears over that. I felt a little ridiculous, honestly.

I realized that cried a lot last week.  I cried while praying for Daisy and her cancer.  I cried when I found my wallet.  I cried when I left and my boy wasn't with me.  I cried when I found out that a dear couple close to my heart is getting a divorce.  A divorce.  I was in SHOCK and after the week I had, I simply couldn't take it.  This was a couple that I thought would make it through anything.  I don't know why they are getting a divorce.  I don't know how long they have been separated.  I love them both so much.  My heart was devastated.  Devastated for their family.  Devastated for their marriage.  Devastated.

Tantrums. Sadness. Cancer. Divorce.

I realized something about myself this weekend....I am the kind of person who really feels pain when others suffer.  I take it on.  I cry as though it's my burden.  Why?  Why am I like that?  Why do I put myself through this?  I DO NOT know.  I can't help it.

And yet, I find joy in all the blessings around me. .  I know I have a strong marriage.  I have amazing kids.  I have amazing friends.  I have an amazing family.  I have so much to be thankful for and so much to be happy about.  I sat in church Sunday with my friends on my mind and heavy on my heart.  I will pray for them.  That really is all I can do.   I know I have Jesus and thank heavens I have Him!  He is the light in all this darkness, boy am I glad I have Jesus to lay all my burdens upon.  I am lucky to have him.

Here is to a better week ahead!

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